Loved it. I struggle with this a lot to an extent that it had a negative impact on my life and time I spend with my family.
On my birthday I finally fired up Cyberpunk after delaying to play it for 3 years now because there is always something more productive to do (writing, coding, reading and consuming smart articles like this).
It felt bizarre... that after all that time its actually ok to experience leisure.
Ooh and I love this mini confessional. Bizarre is the perfect word for this... cos I think we knew when we were teenagers and young adults that "duh - after school time is for HAVING FUN!!, and ok, maybe a bit of homework..." I recall the days in JC where the final bell of the day rings and I would in quiet excitement go to the field, change to my sports attire, and play some ultimate frisbee.
Then we started working and somehow all learned that working during work hours is just the sideshow, and the main show is the hustle after work. Bizarre!
Probably the most relatable article I’ve read- we are pretty similar, and I have the exact same issue you’ve described here.
Like you Nick, I cannot enjoy a hobby without trying to “level up” with it. I can’t just play guitar, I have to create an album and release it on Spotify! I can’t just write poetry, I have to be published! Like you’ve described, whenever I sit down to relax and play video games or something, I feel super guilty, and the only way to beat the guilt is to make sure the activity has some sort of intellectual profit; for example, watching a movie is fine if it’s one of the classics, or a book is good if it teaches me something. It’s a horrible, transactional way to look at leisure and free time, and to be frank I haven’t figured out how to beat it!
At the same time, I am thinking that maybe this is not a bad thing, and if we learn how to focus it we can actually use it to level up & create things? Maybe this is just how it works, who knows.
Quite a conundrum, right? I know it's not entirely bad to want to make good use of my time (good being something useful, or having "intellectual profit" as you so well put it). For me, putting it all down for a while is meant as a reset, so that I can see the whole thing with fresh eyes again and try to find the right balance for me. Wishing you luck on your journey!
Loved it. I struggle with this a lot to an extent that it had a negative impact on my life and time I spend with my family.
On my birthday I finally fired up Cyberpunk after delaying to play it for 3 years now because there is always something more productive to do (writing, coding, reading and consuming smart articles like this).
It felt bizarre... that after all that time its actually ok to experience leisure.
P.S. Recovering ambitious workoholic
Ooh and I love this mini confessional. Bizarre is the perfect word for this... cos I think we knew when we were teenagers and young adults that "duh - after school time is for HAVING FUN!!, and ok, maybe a bit of homework..." I recall the days in JC where the final bell of the day rings and I would in quiet excitement go to the field, change to my sports attire, and play some ultimate frisbee.
Then we started working and somehow all learned that working during work hours is just the sideshow, and the main show is the hustle after work. Bizarre!
Probably the most relatable article I’ve read- we are pretty similar, and I have the exact same issue you’ve described here.
Like you Nick, I cannot enjoy a hobby without trying to “level up” with it. I can’t just play guitar, I have to create an album and release it on Spotify! I can’t just write poetry, I have to be published! Like you’ve described, whenever I sit down to relax and play video games or something, I feel super guilty, and the only way to beat the guilt is to make sure the activity has some sort of intellectual profit; for example, watching a movie is fine if it’s one of the classics, or a book is good if it teaches me something. It’s a horrible, transactional way to look at leisure and free time, and to be frank I haven’t figured out how to beat it!
At the same time, I am thinking that maybe this is not a bad thing, and if we learn how to focus it we can actually use it to level up & create things? Maybe this is just how it works, who knows.
Quite a conundrum, right? I know it's not entirely bad to want to make good use of my time (good being something useful, or having "intellectual profit" as you so well put it). For me, putting it all down for a while is meant as a reset, so that I can see the whole thing with fresh eyes again and try to find the right balance for me. Wishing you luck on your journey!